Still here...erm 2

January 13th 2023 

Weird. Yesterday I wrote the date for the first time and didn't note it with a comment to myself or someone near with something like, "eeeh, first time writing 2023." or "Nearly wrote 2022." Weird. Just me? Hmm...

So, day two of blogging...here we go. I say 'we' because it feels like I'm actually chatting with someone...you. Honestly. Weird. Using that word too much - that's three times now. Weird.

Milo:

I mentioned Milo in my last blog and should probably introduce him.

This is Milo:

*you'll note here that I've just realised that you can add pictures. Still learning. 😉

Milo is awesome. We've had him for around a year and a half and got him from my brother Darren (the oldest of my siblings - more on all of them as we blog). We actually got him for free from Darren and we will always be grateful for that generosity and the gift that is Milo. 

He's been such a wonderful and surprising addition to our family given that Rebecca was, as she would tell you, not a dog person; worried about the smell and that people with dogs have homes that smell of dogs. That's kind of true - we have a dog and it likely smells of Milo. If you have a dog, your house might smell of dog, but you likely don't care. I think we get used to it; blind to it after a while maybe. More importantly, Rebecca doesn't care. Well, that's not wholly accurate; she does at times.

I know immediately if we're getting visitors and the house needs to smell a smidgen better than Milo's scrotum and damp leaves from the scattering of several lit candles of varying colours, sizes and smells. All lovely and like walking into the Bodyshop in the 90s. Definitely a fire hazard, though. 

About a 2 weeks ago Milo began to lick the carpet (not a euphemism) and I stopped him and called him an eejut. Strange behaviour, but dogs can be daft at times. The next day he then began to slow down a bit and wasn't really himself. Long bit short, we ended up taking him to the out of hours emergency vets in Gateshead where they looked at him for half an hour, said he'd had an allergic reaction to something he'd eaten, gave us meds and charged £500. £500! 

I'm not going to pretend to be shocked by the bill. 

Our usual vets must have been given a report, so later that day, after a call from them, we took Milo up, they then sent us to the veterinary hospital in Sedgefield where he remained in their ICU until 8 days later. Auto immune disease is the final diagnosis. It has a long name but I can't remember it and it's quite common they said. His platelets in his blood were the big concern and is why he wasn't able to come home sooner. They even gave him chemotherapy to suppress his immune system. Little shit can't see me have anything. 

The end result is he'll have lots of appointments at our vets to check his progress and be on medication for about 6 months. They gave us some sobering statistics about recurrence and mortality, but I'm going to ignore that part and go with what works for me - ignorance, optimism and the blind positivity of an inept gambler. Seems to work.

Good to have him home, though. Lots of tears have been shed while he's been away. Not by me, obviously. Pfft. Hard as nails n that, man. Smerk tabs, drink beer and...just kidding. Maybe I welled up a little bit. He's slowly, day by day, beginning to move around a look more like him. He still can't make the jump onto our bed as he used to, but it's hilarious watching him try. 

Rebecca's birthday:

December and January are busy months and expensive months for the Robinson household. Lily chose to be born on Christmas eve, then we have Christmas, and then Rebecca has her birthday in early January. Nightmare.

I digress. I bought Rebecca, what I thought was a brilliant idea and gift and gave it to her early so she could have it and enjoy it sooner. Now, after ordering it, I thought I'll share with my two best mates what I'd bought her. 

Their response was not what I expected, to be fair. I'm pretty sure they thought I was joking. Then came the disbelief, then the mocking and laughing. 35 years I've known these two berks - I should really have known better. 

The gift was a bean to cup coffee machine! It's so good. Coffee beans in the top, stunningly tasty coffee from out the bottom. Literally any kind of coffee you can think of. Genius gift. My reasoning was that she works from home quite a bit and will often go all day without a nice cup of Joe until she's finished. So now, at the touch of a button, she can have a flat white, cappuccino (of varying types), espresso, machiatto, doppio, etc all of which can be tinkered with in terms of strength and size and aroma and...you get the idea. I've tried em all. 

Rebecca got this fantastic prezzie early because, well, I just kind of wanted to and the box was huge, so impossible to stash anywhere. 

She loves it and uses it several times a day. Firstly, to bring my morning sip to accompany my crumpets. 😉 So chaps, you were wrong! 

For Rebecca's actual birthday, I booked a room at The Impeccable Pig in Sedgefield called the Pigsty. Quite easy to summarise this place: it's lovely. Genuinely, all round canny. The room was impressive and had a hot tub outside, bed was about 9ft square. Oh, and there was a big copper/brass bath. 

Food was very good. For the first time in my life I had oysters. £3.95. I was expecting an oyster to cost a lot more for some reason. They just sound like an expensive food item. These were still in the shell and had a parmesan, but that came off with one jab of a fork and was inhaled, leaving only the slippery globules that is an oyster. I've seen people eat these on TV and in films and they always seem to just tip them in and swallow without chewing or tasting. I opted to chew. They aren't what you expect. Not unpleasant at all, but not a delight in the mouth. I did like it and the brine that slips down with it was lovely. 

Would I have them again? Yeah, I probably would. 

Starter, main and desert were all very nice, but we had Tomahawk steak between the two of us and, honestly, I'm not a fan. Bit fatty here and there. That's the nature of a Tomahawk steak - it has a bit fat in it strewn across the great bits you actually want to eat. Most of it was fine and it's a lovely tasting bit of meat, but I hate fatty surprises in my mouth. Usual meaty treats in future for me - sirloin or Pek.

Thumbs up from us in regard to the hotel. Very nice. Pricey, but nice. 

I stress quite a bit about Rebecca's birthdays annually, but this was her 40th. I'd had in my head for many years that we'd do New York or Tuscany or Santorini. At least, I think the last one, Santorini is right; sounds like the place with beautiful white buildings and colourful rooftops. 

It's not that she's hard to buy for (maybe a bit 😉), I think I, like many of you, put too much pressure on ourselves. 

Will she like it?

Will she say she likes it, but hate it and it'll be chucked in a drawer never to be seen again?

Will she tell me she doesn't like it? Christ, that'd be awful.

What twatting size is she? 

This looks similar to what she sent, will it do?

All those and a multitude more swimming around your head and then you times that by thousands given its a significant birthday like your 40th. 

A surprise party was a definite no. She'd gave me strict instructions on that. Ironic really, considering she's got me twice with such a thing, and she knows I don't like attention. Hate it, even. Can't stand the adulation of loads of people all there for me. Pfft...

The trips to far flung places are definitely not possible as we've been ridiculously opulent with our spending on holidays last summer. It all came from a good place - we knew what was coming for me in terms of, well, no easy or gentle way to say it, but my chances of having another summer. So, we filled our boots. Rebecca and I had a holiday to Rhodes by ourselves and then a week in Lanzarote with the kids; but then, after Rebecca was a few pints into a late afternoon at the cricket club, she/we were booked on a holiday to Rhodes again with the lovely Pattison family. A few taps on a phone while sipping a Madri was all it took - that and the directional finger of one Kelly Pattison showing Rebecca where the deal was to be found. And with that, we cancelled Christmas. 

To be fair, at that moment, the cost, the debts, all thoughts of affordability went out the window, and I'm glad. We couldn't afford it, but we did it. 

Reckless behaviour indeed, but what a summer of great memories.

Reminds me of a Bobby Thompson line from his stand-up when talking about debt, "Let them worry what wants it off yer." 🤔 

I'd stalled my chemo at the beginning of the summer and a week or two before the holidays to give myself as good a chance as possible of enjoying the time away and being more involved and active. It worked for the most part and I hope the kids have some extra memories to flick through some time in the future. 

Reflective thought:

An old boss of mine once told me that having kids is about giving them memories. He said that 30 years ago and it sits in my head as a reminder; sometimes that I'm doing an okay job of being a Dad and other times it makes me feel like I'm not creating enough memories for them. I can write it off as part of being human, where we naturally lean towards the negative aspects of ourselves. A bit like when we look in the mirror and only focus on our perceived flaws. 

We should stop doing that shit. I've no idea how you go about being more positive about oneself, but I think it begins with a choice and maybe a gentle shove or prod. 

Maybe just be kind to yourself. You're awesome.