Still here...V

Blog number V or five or 5, or 🖐.

V, the worst Rocky film of them all by a long way. It's watchable, but ultimately forgettable and cack. 

Free week from chemo!

So, that's 6 doses over the last 8 weeks of poison dripped into my arm. Usually and historically, I'd be half way through - they usually book me in for twelve doses, which is roughly four months. However, I've got a sneaky feeling they may keep me on it (if it's working) or switch me to the "Big Guns". The "Big Guns" is a regime of chemo I've done before and it worked at some shrinkage here and a mop up there, but it was brutal. A scan around dose nine is then followed by a chat with my oncologist to tell us what's happening and next steps. For now, nothing to report. No news is good news 'n' that. 😊

I love this week; I don't necessarily feel any better physically, but mentally it's such a relief to not have to go to the Phoenix unit in Sunderland, sit in that chair and do something you really don't want to do. Plus, chemotherapy leaves you quite washed out. I once described the effects of chemo to someone as turning the world monochrome and melancholy. Infused depression. 

*I had a break from writing here for no other reason than a smidgen of procrastination and busy with stuff. Love that word, 'stuff'. Stuff going on. Stuff to do. Covers a lot doesn't it?*

So, on we go...

St Benedict's Hospice:

Rebecca and I met with the genuinely lovely people at St Benedict's Hospice where they gave us a mini tour and an overview of what they do there and the services they offer.

I, like most I imagine, hear the word 'hospice' and immediately go to the darker thoughts and possibly historic meaning of it - that being where you go when it's time to cash in your chips and swan off into the nothing. I'd always thought of it as the place you go to lay in a bed and eek your way towards your last moments and then, well...you know, snuff it 'n' that. But it's not. It's not like that at all. It obviously still has that element to it, but we were really impressed and comforted by the vast services and offerings that they have or do.

I was given an appointment for the following day to start a 10 week wrap-around care plan. It sounds very serious, and I'm sure it is, but to me it is just making sure that I'm accessing what's available and that my pain medication is right or adjusted as needed. 

I went in and I'm part of a group of 6 or 7 other patients. Most of whom were a few weeks ahead in terms of their 10 week programme. Introductions were done in that awkward fashion I manage to create, then they took my order for the 3 course meal at lunch. 😳 It was at this moment I knew I'd come back for week 2. 

Physiotherapy, massages of every description (including Reiki, which I'll get to in a moment), counselling for family members and me, etc. Far too many to mention and all to be considered seriously. Seriously, I'd normally dismiss most things out of, well, I'm not sure. Maybe not wanting to be a bother or a fuss and also being a bit of a tool about the benefits of having a head massage and such. However, I've had a teeny change of outlook and I'm going to try some of them. 

With that in mind, before I left for the day I had a hand massage. I'd been asked twice and relented out of curiosity. You know what? It wasn't terrible. It was actually very relaxing. She spent about 20 minutes massaging oil into my hands and arms and it took some effort from myself not to fall asleep. I still felt awkward though and felt obliged to make small talk. It reminded me of going to the hairdressers/barbers when you either don't speak (I struggle with that bit) or try to create a bit of conversation. So I did the clichéd cack I used to complain about as a taxi driver, "What time did you start today, then?" and "Have you done many of these so far today?" and because it popped in my head and I have limited filters, "Ever get any hands where you just want to say no, not doing it? Like manky finger nails?" She replied politely that no it hadn't ever happened. She also added that most people like to sit quietly and relax. I took the hint. 

Reiki:

Catherine C, if you're reading this I know you'll be furrowing your brow whilst also smiling. 😁

I have limited knowledge of what this is exactly and so want to be wrong about my opinion on it. As I understand it, it is the Japanese art of not actually touching you but somehow transferring energy from the Reiki masseuse to recipient. Again, without touching. No laying on of hands at all. 

In the interests of science, I'm going to have a Reiki sesh next week and shall report back to you all with the results. I genuinely hope to have my thoughts changed about it. It would blow my tiny mind if it works. How cool would that be? It's like having a superpower. Okay, maybe not a superpower, but a power nonetheless. You're not going to fight evil with it are you. You couldn't face off against an actual bad guy with superpowers who could melt you with their eyes by gently not touching them and hoping they feel relaxed enough to not murder you. 

Fingers crossed it is an actual thing, though. 

Before leaving for the day, they did my bloods ready for this weeks chemotherapy, which is so much better than going to Sunderland to do it. Purely because of the parking at the hospital - it's a nightmare every time, and I've got a blue badge but rarely are there any spaces. 

Plus, the hospice is 5 minutes from my house. 

Chemotherapy tomorrow and back to ticking the sessions off to the next week off it. 

In other news, the Tories are still lying bags of warm sick, Milo has had to have a cone of shame fitted after constantly scraping at his neck where he had a healing scab from his time in hospital, but got it infected (I warned him), kids are all fine - except for having Strep - and Rebecca, my ever enduring wife, is truly amazing. She is beyond my ability with words astoundingly wonderful and inspiring and my muse, and...well....see? I've got no more words. They aren't enough or feel right or strong enough. She's mint. 

Okay, enough for this blog. Sleepy time for me and I really should read through this before I pass out. 

Remember...

Always support your fellow workers, especially those on strike. 

Richard Madeley is a knob. 

Cars have faces. Have look at the front of a car, you'll see it. 🤔

Then decide if it's happy, indifferent or angry. They usually fall into one of those categories. 

Adieu for now.