Still here

20th January 2023 Warning: this may get a bit sad, but only for a little bit.  A thing I can't currently do: Talk about my kids and cancer in the same conversation.  I hope to be able to do that here, if I can, in written form. Talking about them in real life is almost impossible with anyone other than Rebecca.  It's difficult to explain just how quickly the emotions explode to the surface and render me completely unable to speak. It's a massive endeavour to suppress the surging eruption of tears. My throat tightens and does that ache thing, my eyes well up, and I'm just unable to speak. Even if I wanted to or tried, it wouldnt come out. Well, it wouldn't be words, it'd be an attempt and a garbled mess of vowels and chokes. I've been asked many times, various questions about the kids and is often just "How are the kids coping?", which we kind of don't answer, well, not really. We'll say they're fine and coping really well or similar, bu...

Chemo is a massive bag of smashed dicks. That's all. That's all I'm saying on it.  Moving on... Life's a funny game isn't it? Journeys and destinations are what interest me; that and time, well, how we perceive and experience it.  The journeys thing: I don't want to get too deep or philosophical but (cue twatty rambling) are we really on a journey through life? If we are, then the final destination is the same for all of us, regardless of where we start from or which turns we take, who we travel with or how fast we choose to go. I like that. Sounds a bit too quick, though. Like most journeys and destinations in life, we always seem to be in a hurry to get there.  Maybe we need to slow right down and meander through life with the stroll of an observer drinking it all in.  "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Ferris Bueller All on the same journey, then. All playing the same game. Different t...

January 13th 2023  Weird. Yesterday I wrote the date for the first time and didn't note it with a comment to myself or someone near with something like, "eeeh, first time writing 2023." or "Nearly wrote 2022." Weird. Just me? Hmm... So, day two of blogging...here we go. I say 'we' because it feels like I'm actually chatting with someone...you. Honestly. Weird. Using that word too much - that's three times now. Weird. Milo: I mentioned Milo in my last blog and should probably introduce him. This is Milo: *you'll note here that I've just realised that you can add pictures. Still learning. 😉 Milo is awesome. We've had him for around a year and a half and got him from my brother Darren (the oldest of my siblings - more on all of them as we blog). We actually got him for free from Darren and we will always be grateful for that generosity and the gift that is Milo.  He's been such a wonderful and surprising addition to our family given...

10th January 2023 First words of this, my blog, and of the year.  I've mused over doing a blog of some kind for a while now and had intended to begin on the 1st of January, but life got in the way - as it does and the details of which I'll likely go into as we progress through this. Then again, I may not; my writing tends to drift and tangents will be common.  So, why do a blog?  I suppose I'm feeling reflective a lot lately and like most of us, I enjoy the flashbacks that come from Facebook's memories that appear daily with reminders of events from last year or years before. Our family photo album from Amazon and Google does the same thing with snippets of Imagery or rather your history, and its every day. I like it a lot. I dont know how healthy it is to constantly/daily be forced to look back at one's life, but it's only usually good stuff - it's pictures, videos or thoughts you have wanted to share or capture.  This blog however, will be quite different ...